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Day 11 - NC500 - Ullapool to Beinn Eighe National Nature Reserve

I found that I couldn't breathe when I opened my eyes in the morning. There was a strange scent in the air, a kind of heavy musty stale smell. I could feel eyes burning holes into the back of my head quite fiercely. I turned to look at Kerry and I instantly knew that an attack of the curry farts had ensued all night. It didn't help either that the diesel night heater had mysteriously turned itself on and was warming the stale farty air and churning it around the van like the mist smouldering out from a witches cauldron. Or was that actually from a witches cauldron and Kerry had been busy casting spells to silent my bubbling guts.Either way, I made my excuses and legged it to the toilet block to try and relieve the built up pressure in my intestinal system.

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Day 10 - NC500 - Achmelvic to Ullapool Romantic Castles, Magical Campsites and Curry Farts

Today we were heading for nowhere in particular, once again. One of those "let's see where we end up" situations. That's what winging it is all about. Just drive and plod along and enjoy your surroundings, stop when you want to, when you see something lush, no time restrictions or panic to get to certain campsites at a set time. As I said, today was no different. We had the usual breakfast of local sausages and bacon (always bacon involved) and copious amounts of coffee and set off, leaving behind the tranquil idyllic settings of Achmelvic and its glorious beach and sunsets.

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Day 9 - NC500 - Durness to Achmelvic Bay and Many Things In Between. Witches, Handsome Bridges and Sexy Stags.

Once again, the sun crept its way up over the horizon casting its warming beams over the van. It was a chilly night so for once the warmth was welcome. I'd had a restless night and hit my head many times on the unforgiving wood panelling and somehow even managed to scrape my elbow and bleed everywhere. Kerry spent the night impersonating a starfish which isn't cool in a 2-foot square bed. But nonetheless, I enjoy the closeness vanlife brings!

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Day 8 - NC500 -Part 2- Kyle of Tongue to Durness

We had so far struck it lucky with the weather and had not yet seen any rain. Today was no different either. It was 7 am and the sun was beaming down from the sky with the vigour of a nun in a sex shop. I could feel the van starting to heat up, the morning mist slowly burned away to reveal another glorious day!

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Day 7 - NC500 Part 1- Kyle of Tongue to Durness

We woke with a start at about 0630. By start I mean I pretty much wet myself. A vehicle with a rather loud train horn drove past and gave everyone in the layby a pretty early wake up blast of said train horn. I'd like to say the operator of this pretty loud noise maker was merely just testing it out at what they thought was a nice quiet out of the way location but I do doubt that very much. I doubt it because of the laughter that loudly followed the blast of earth-shattering loudness.

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Day 6 -NC500 Thurso to Kyle of Tongue Heather, Graveyards and Tongue

Ram jammed to the brim with Texas style pancakes, we set off aiming for Strathy Bay, with the intention of stopping at Melvich Bay first as we'd read so much about this beautiful place. But, in typical Calamity Shane style, we, well I, drove straight past it.You see, everything on the official NC500 map looks like vast distances in between but there's not. Because on the map it only depicts the Highlands but in ones head it's the entire land of the Scots! So as you meander along you suddenly find you're 20 miles past where you were aiming for.

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Day 5 -NC500-Keiss to Thurso Giant Wagon Wheels, End of the World and Farts

We woke early as the mornings rush hour traffic raced by. It was all over and done with in about 3 minutes, but the noise it brought shattered the eery silence that enveloped the pretty little village of Keiss. I tried to stretch out but Kerry was taking up the entire bed with her starfish impression again so I slid out rather awkwardly through the poorly placed bed exit gap thing trying desperately not to let the belly full of farts fall out whilst doing so. But alas, they popped out anyway and I could feel kerry chuckling under the covers. I ignored her childish behaviour and donned my shorts and T-shirt and left the building so I could vent properly without being laughed at.

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Day 4 - Little Ferry to Keiss Loud Screams, Missed Turnings and Closed Castles

As we settled down for the night in a quiet, very out of the way park up, Kerry and I both felt an odd sensation. It’s hard to explain but “eery” kinda sums it up. The air was dead still, there was a distance sound of waves crashing onto the shore and not a bird call could be heard. Everything felt muted. The place was dead calm except from one other car containing a couple whom appeared to be staying the night also. I think the female counterpart of the pair was either out of her face on mushrooms or just completely bonkers as she spent every moment dancing and waving her arms wildly like one of those wind sock wavy arm things outside American car sales joints. I would normally say “she was loving life” but she was way beyond that!

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